lol | February 12, 2010 | 137 Comments »

2 women and a man are standing by a fast river when the grim reaper comes says to them that either they cross the river or he kills them, the first women dives in an d drowns immedietly. the second women jumps in and makes it half way across but drowns. the grim reaper says to the man, now what will you do, and the man says, i’ll go across the bridge.

“”What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife”" -
a knife she got from the kitchen.

What’s the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women’s clinic?
The god damned dishes if she knows what’s good for her.

i ****** everyones mum who reads this and sucked her ***** like a ice creem
Why did God make woman last?
He didn’t want someone telling him what to do.

Why do women get married in white?
So they match the kitchen appliances!

Whats the difference between your wife and your dog?
Walking the dog is relaxing.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you? made the chain too long.

A man is driving along in his car when he suddenly gets pulled over by the police, the man pokes his head out of the window and says “what seems to be the problem officer?” the cop looks bluntly at him and says “are you aware that a woman fell out of your car about 2 minutes ago?” the man let out a sigh “thank **** for that i thought i had gone deaf!”

Why did the woman cross the road?
Wait, better question, why is she out of the kitchen!?

Why don’t women wear watches?
There’s a clock on the stove.

Why do women have short feet?
So they can stand closer to the stove.

Why dont women have a penis?
So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.

Why don’t women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Why couldn’t Hellen Keller drive?
Because she was a woman.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
-None, it should be opened when she brings it to you.

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says “Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes.” The man says “Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account.” Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, “Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here.” Phoof! There is a flash of light and a bright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, “Finally, I want to be irresistible to women.” Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

What if God’s a woman? Not only am I going to hell, I’ll never know why.
(Adam Ferrara)

What do you call a woman with two brain cells?

If your dog is barking at the back door and Danielle Cardella is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in!

Why haven’t any women ever gone to the moon?
It doesn’t need cleaning yet

How is a woman like a laxative?
They both irritate the crap out of you.

Woman inspires us to great things…and prevents us from achieving them. (Dumas)

What do you do when your dishwasher breaks?
You hit her.

Wanna hear a funny joke?
women’s rights.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, let the ***** cook in the dark!

women are cute and cuddly – every man should own one.

How are women and high school phone policies similar?
Because they can be seen but not heard
Jack and jill went up the hill so jack can lick jills fanny,he got a shock and a mouthful ****. because jills a pre-op tranny (by b.scales)
Why do women live longer than men?
Because God adds them the time that they wasted on parking.

How do you get a woman dizzy?

Put her in a circular room and tell her to go to a corner.

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.

“Q:Why did God create man before woman?
A:Because your always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.”
Yeah right, a masterpiece who doesn’t know the difference between you’re and your.

how many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none she can cook in the dark

« | | | »

Horaayy..there are 137 comment(s) for me so far ;)

# 1 - drew - 06/06/2010 - 12:32 am

Awesome but not very original.

# 2 - matt - 21/10/2010 - 7:23 pm

epic lolz for me @ – “What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice!

# 3 - Ashley - 07/11/2010 - 2:50 pm

LOL what have u done wrong if a women comes out of the kitchen to nag you??

Made her chain to long

# 4 - matthew - 13/12/2010 - 9:02 pm

i would fuck the shit out of the russian or cuban girl which ever she is yummy

# 5 - Jeenie - 22/12/2010 - 5:03 am

Let me guess…a stupid sexist guy wrote this -.-’

# 6 - FUCK YOU WOMEN - 17/02/2011 - 1:14 am

Let me guess, you’re a woman and you think you have rights? ZING!

# 7 - longdonghugerod - 17/02/2011 - 8:22 pm

lol classic.

# 8 - Angelo - 03/03/2011 - 7:35 pm

Ha Jeenie maybe you should go back to the kitchen…I don’t think there are computers in kitchens ;)

# 9 - Angelo - 03/03/2011 - 7:35 pm

Ha Jeenie maybe you should go back to the kitchen…;)

# 10 - Jeenie - 04/03/2011 - 1:18 pm

Sure there is, my laptop is already there ^_-

Here is a couple jokes for you sexist guy jokes for you dummy:

How does a man show that he is planning for the future ?

- He buys two cases of beer

What do you call an intelligent man of America ?

- A tourist : )

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and goodlooking ?

- Because those men already have boyfriends

What are a women’s four favourite animals ?

- A mink in the closet,a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all.

I have more but i dont think Angelo can take anymore of it


# 11 - Austin - 05/03/2011 - 5:02 pm

Whats the useless skin around a vagina called? A woman

# 12 - Gabriel - 10/03/2011 - 5:19 pm

Why is a gun better than a woman?
-Because you could silence a gun

# 13 - The flamer - 15/03/2011 - 1:47 am

Just be quiet and wash the damn dishes woman… Never should’ve gotten rights in the first place if they never are.

# 14 - (UAD) Cheesecake - 31/03/2011 - 3:54 am

what does a tampon and a woman have in common-
they’re both stuck up bitches

# 15 - women arent equal to men - 04/04/2011 - 4:25 am

Jeenie, women don’t have equal rights as men in america, so stfu and wash the fucking dishes or so help me god I will get the belt out

# 16 - Jeenie - 05/04/2011 - 6:54 pm

Yeah they do, so do me a favour and shut the f*** up jack as*.

Aha alright get your belt out and watch what I will do to you loser.

Btw No thanks.

# 17 - Dildo - 07/04/2011 - 2:02 pm


“How does a man show that he is planning for the future ?

- He buys two cases of beer

What do you call an intelligent man of America ?

- A tourist : )

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and goodlooking ?

- Because those men already have boyfriends

What are a women’s four favourite animals ?

- A mink in the closet,a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in the bedroom, and a jackass to pay for it all.”

Did you think of those while you were in kitchen?

P.S “What do you call an intelligent man of America ?

- A tourist : )” That’s a joke about Americans, stop wasting your time and get me a sandwich!

# 18 - Jeenie - 08/04/2011 - 12:31 pm

No i didn’t have to think about it loser.

You can make your own sandwich freak.

Canadian/American, there all the same

# 19 - C-mor - 18/04/2011 - 6:13 pm

why were women created?

because God got hungry.

# 20 - Jeenie shouldnt be let out of the kitchen - 20/04/2011 - 2:33 pm

“Canadian/American, there all the same”

Jeenie you fucking retard canadians are from canada and americans are from AMERICA, AND its THEY’RE not there. Now i would advise your husband to stop leaving you unsupervised and advise you to bring me a sandwich, open my beer and go lay on the bed until im ready for you.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

Why did the woman cross the road?
That’s not the point, what’s she doing out of the kitchen?

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Kick her where the sun don’t shine.

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

Do u want to hear a joke?
Women’s right

Why do women have smaller feet than men
It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

How do you fix a woman’s watch?
U don’t the times on the stove

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dogs hell shut up when u let him in

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by up to 90%.
Wedding cake

How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

Why is the space between a woman’s breasts ,and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

What’s the smartest thing to ever come out of a womens mouth
Albert Einstein’s cock

They say a woman’s work is never done. Maybe that’s why they get paid less

Why did God make woman last?
He didn’t want someone telling him what to do.
Why don’t women need drivers licenses?
There is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Why does the bride always wear white?
Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, shes already been told twice.

What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you?
made the chain too long.

A man runs over his wife. Whose fault is it?
The man, he shouldn’t be driving in the kitchen.

how many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
none she can cook in the dark
what does a tampon and a woman have in common-
they’re both stuck up bitches

# 21 - Jeenie - 05/05/2011 - 11:22 pm

RE: #21

No Ones Laughing Pig :p
You can make your own sandwich its not that difficult :/

# 22 - Justin - 11/05/2011 - 6:10 pm

apparently not if a woman can do it.

# 23 - iCumOnMidgets - 12/05/2011 - 5:06 pm

Jeenie, know your place.

# 24 - Jeenie - 18/05/2011 - 10:00 pm

You should know by now how to keep your mouth shut

# 25 - ur black friend - 30/06/2011 - 6:06 pm

Dudes ur all a bunch of dickz its fun to hear the jokes but u guys are teaming up to insult one girl haha so u guys have all probably chewed off each others dicks already making u something that’s even funnier then these jokes… dickless

# 26 - Jeenie - 03/07/2011 - 3:12 am

Your the man : )

# 27 - Mr.Justice - 18/07/2011 - 6:44 pm

omg you guys and women! stop insulting the girl! but i admit she started first, why would you go on a website with jokes about women when you are “the easily offended one” and start a fight?

# 28 - Jeenie - 19/07/2011 - 6:32 am

I still win.

I wonder how old these guys are, fighting against a 17 year old.


# 29 - Mr.Justice - 24/07/2011 - 1:36 pm

victory is measured in blood, dont think anyone won or lost in this argument. all you guys did here is pointing out all the “weaknesses” of opposite gender.

# 30 - Garrett - 27/07/2011 - 3:34 pm

Guys just look at it from Jeenie’s point of view….look out the kitchen window.

-i dont mean to insult you its just a joke and im 18 not old haha

# 31 - Carlos - 29/07/2011 - 7:15 am

what is the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant women?
you can unscrew a light bulb

# 32 - Jeenie - 02/08/2011 - 1:01 am

You guys seem old 0.0

# 33 - Jeenie - 02/08/2011 - 1:05 am

@ Mr. Justice

The only reason i started it was because the men here on this website were saying insulting things about women

# 34 - Mr. Justice - 03/08/2011 - 9:32 am

@J Jeenie
THIS IS A WEBSITE WITH *JOKES* about women. ok? you dont go to a website for gays and say :YOU GUYS ARE HOMO YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS” ok?

# 35 - Jeenie - 03/08/2011 - 4:04 pm

So let me guess, if someone wrote jokes about men, and i mean alot, your not going to post an opinion or a statement opposite to whatever anyone else is saying :/

# 36 - I_Dream_Of_Jeenie - 06/08/2011 - 12:26 am

I would like to say that Jeenie owns all of you cocks women are better then men by far just accept that and maybe you wouldn’t need to keep buying more blow up dolls or sluts

# 37 - Jeenie - 08/08/2011 - 10:00 pm

Oooof in your faces :)

# 38 - Jeenie - 08/08/2011 - 10:01 pm

@ Garrett

I must admit that joke was pretty funny lol

# 39 - wowchildren - 17/08/2011 - 2:30 pm

i think Mr. Justice is right. why the hell would you be on a joke site about woman if you’re going to get pissed off. you’re 17, its time to start growing up.

# 40 - Jeenie - 18/08/2011 - 6:18 pm

I think your absolutley pathetic…do me a favour and mind your own bussiness and grow up.

# 41 - Emily - 21/08/2011 - 8:11 pm

Personally, I think sexist jokes are hilarious. And I’m a girl.
Btw, @#21, ham and cheese or turkey?

# 42 - Jamie - 23/08/2011 - 12:14 am

@Emily…..honey, you never ask what kind of sammich to make, just start makin….

# 43 - Womens rights..THE FUCK? - 23/08/2011 - 2:54 am

1) Is it hard to type with a black dick in your ear?
2) this is why the male species is dominant to the inferior female.
2a)same work… more pay
2b)the smartest thing to come out of a womans mouth is einsteins dick
2c)we are demeaned to our knees for another humans pleaure
3) here are some cool facts
whats the best part of a blow job?-20 minutes of silence.
How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow?-give the bitch a shovel.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?-Nothing, somebody already told her twice.
Why do you get a woman pregnant?- it hurts and the bitch deserves it.
Why do men like guns?-they can silence it.
what do you do when your hoe gets too fat?-cut rations
In conclusion jeenie is a self rightous woman who simply forgot her place.

# 44 - hoejeenie - 23/08/2011 - 10:27 am

@ I dream of jeenie

Wow you’re incredibly stupid.
the only dick she owns is hers
you ugly tranny .Women are better than men by far only at one thing
that is getting pregnant ,

thats why we keep you around
when technology reaches there
we will exterminate you.
bitches like you are speeding up the process.

# 45 - Jeenie - 24/08/2011 - 3:33 am

@ hoejeenie

How the hell am i a hoe ? you dont even know me you piece of shit.

btw i own a vagina and two boobs not a dick you worthless fool

# 46 - A CHINESE TRANNY - 26/08/2011 - 11:27 pm

Men? Women? What difference does it make if you’re not even Chinese? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

# 47 - im on here for jokes but the comments are funnier - 11/09/2011 - 1:39 am

hee hee the jokes were funny but honestly i respect women. if ur smart u can please a woman and come out as the right one or the superioir one (forgot quotations)

# 48 - Laura:) - 15/09/2011 - 11:15 pm

Lol lol lol I am probably the only woman who lives these jokes

# 49 - Krys - 18/09/2011 - 3:21 am

What’s the only thing faster than the speed of light? A Guy in bed.

# 50 - Magooze - 22/09/2011 - 11:18 pm

“Women inspires us to great things…and prevents us from achieving them.” I respect women but i will say this, they think with thier hearts rather than thier head.They stay with the guys who treat them like shit in hopes he will be the man they have been waiting for. !!!!RETARDED!!!! So jokes are jokes unless they are about you. I agree with Mr. Justice on this one, dont take it personal and dont start dishing it out if you cant take it.

# 51 - Scully - 23/09/2011 - 8:36 pm

jeenie, don’t bother with these guys. they all sound more like girls now. i’m a guy and its so stupid to read what they are saying.
really respect that you’re standing up to these pricks haha

# 52 - Jeenie - 25/09/2011 - 8:12 pm

@ Scully

Thanks, your a smart guy :)

# 53 - Jman - 28/09/2011 - 6:06 pm

this is so funny lol but respect women tho

# 54 - Tony - 07/10/2011 - 6:17 pm

I dont get why everyones gettin their panties in a bunch. Like seriously. Jeenie, I agree with Mr.Justice, you went on a Womens sexist joke website…..what did you expect to find? And plus this website is probly visited mostly by people like me who care about and respect women, but just think sexist jokes are funny due to the oldest rivalry ever, (men and women). But also, all of the guys who are hatin on Jeenie and insulting her need to get their ass’s beat hardcore!!! Cuz i have a girlfriend and i love her to DEATH and would do ANYTHING for her and could NEVER EVER even fathom talking to her, or ANY other girl the way you assholes are talking to Jeenie!!! And to be honest, if you fags were talking to a woman like that when im around, i would kick your ass SO damn bad and any other guy who thinks its ok to talk to a woman like that!!! Like seriously you guys, what the fuck makes men SO damn superior to women???!!!

# 55 - Jeenie - 10/10/2011 - 3:49 pm

Well everyone has their own opinion to everything.

lol this argument started off when i stated saying ” Let me guess, a stupid sexist guy wrote this” afterwards a bunch of retards gang up on me making jokes about how i should make them sandwiches, get in bed and crap ??

# 56 - ThePeanutGallery - 10/10/2011 - 6:54 pm

I would like to say that I’m male. and I’m not siding with either side on this, but technically due to research the only thing, in most cases, where males are better and not equal to woman, would be the jobs that involve strenuous activity that the female body cannot handle. That is the only area where men have more intelligence. Otherwise it comes to an equal statistic.

# 57 - DUDEWTF - 10/10/2011 - 6:59 pm

heyoo I love a woman and never disrespect, you CAN’T just say sensative guys are gay. Smh.. So If you think all guys are like that you need to rethink your stereotypical responses!

# 58 - TheRootOfAllEvil-Women - 12/10/2011 - 1:18 am

Women are inferior intellectually, physically, emotionally, spiritually, morally, politically.

Women have smaller brains, an ineptitude for logical thinking, weaker bodies.

Female contribution to human knowledge? Fucking Marie Curie cancer. Is this what makes you think you’re better

Why haven’t women been to the moon?
It doesn’t need cleaning

What do you call a woman with no legs?
A slug

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Slap the bitch

How do you piss off a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period is it from

Jeanie come to terms with absolute defeat and keep a dignified silence.

# 59 - sam - 12/10/2011 - 2:58 pm

jeenie throughout time men have dominated this planet due to testerone. i respect women but men are bigger and there is always going to be some form of sexisim towards to woman on this planet . oh and I_Dream_Of_Jeenie Stop over-reacting.

# 60 - maddy - 12/10/2011 - 3:01 pm

I Am a girl and i know we have verry little right’s, Girls we are just going to have to face it some day, men are so much bigger than us we have no chance of changing anything.

# 61 - Stone Jeenie - 12/10/2011 - 6:53 pm

Women are inferior intellectually, physically, emotionally, spiritually, morally, politically.

Women have smaller brains, an ineptitude for logical thinking, weaker bodies.

Female contribution to human knowledge? Fucking Marie Curie cancer. Is this what makes you think you’re better

Why haven’t women been to the moon?
It doesn’t need cleaning

What do you call a woman with no legs?
A slug

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down?
Slap the bitch

How do you piss off a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period is it from

Jeanie come to terms with absolute defeat and keep a dignified silence.

# 62 - Wiki - 23/10/2011 - 10:44 am

hey Jennie i have a question for ya, why are you looking at sexist jokes in the first place?

# 63 - Jeanie_Clean_Me - 28/10/2011 - 3:27 pm

Jeanie you are a dumb angry female suffering from an inferiority complex so just come to terms with your disability. All your male supporters are either just pussies or giving fake sympathy to access the pussy.

Why did scientists come up with the name PMS?
Mad cow disease was already taken

# 64 - Jeenie - 31/10/2011 - 3:33 am

Bye guys, i made a comment about how a sexist guy wrote this and a riot broke loose, anways i have a life so i dont need to stick around listen to you jackasses.
Your all probably some old wrinkly person who couldnt get a gf or wife and now are complaining on this site,


# 65 - Jeenie_The_Negative_IQ_Scorer - 31/10/2011 - 7:44 am

Jeanie you areso much more dumber than you’re given credit for. You seem to have “stuck around” more than anyone else on here so that gives you more of a life?

Also you appear to abhor sexism but you just made an ageism discrimination remark.

What man in his right mind wants a gf or wife to blight his live anyway?

And yes stay the fuck away unless you wanna suck penis or perform domestic chores. Pointless arguing with a woman.

My Joke-
What were the last words said onboard the Challenger Space Shuttle before it blew up?
Give the woman a try

# 66 - El Duderino - 31/10/2011 - 8:03 am

hahahaha Jeenie you are such a tampon

What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig?
A disobedient woman

# 67 - respect the woman Not - 04/11/2011 - 12:25 am

A masochist said to a sadist “hurt me”.
The sadist said “no”

# 68 - Joe O’Donnell - 07/11/2011 - 7:53 pm

What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

Nothing You’ve already told her twice.

What do you call a woman with one black eye?

A quick learner.

How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, they can’t change shit.

# 69 - Jenna - 10/11/2011 - 3:00 am

I am a woman & I find this ** hilarious. Some women need a sense of humor & to get back in the kitchen & make her man a sammich !

# 70 - Ol’ Durty Mutha - 13/11/2011 - 7:39 am

I know an area where men are no match for women. Same sex eroticism

How can you tell if a lesbian is butch?
She kick starts her vibrator and rolls her own tampons

What drives a lesbian up the wall?
A crack in the ceiling

What did the lesbian vampire say to her girlfriend?
I’ll see you next month

# 71 - big chris - 23/11/2011 - 6:41 pm

that’s how you women will begin to earn our respect. by accepting your low status then building on that. respect has to be earned not by throwing yourself under stampeding horses or any other feminist/suffragette idiotic actions

# 72 - sexists like you are ass holes - 28/11/2011 - 9:52 pm

get a life losers. you’ve been arguing so much yuo’re gonna die posting a nother dick-headed ever think the reason you tell women to do regard as master is ’cause you can’t do any work yourself? get off this site and start living your life.

# 73 - Jeenie - 28/11/2011 - 10:02 pm

@Jenna you are dumb

# 74 - yer_maw - 06/12/2011 - 9:34 am

What’s so sexist about THE FACT that men and women are not equal meaning one has to be better than the other. How are women better than men?

They have a better ability and temperament for homecare, childcare and repetitive menial tasks. That is all.

So stop throwing these angry menstrual bitch fits and come up with some reasoned arguments

# 75 - Liberty - 07/12/2011 - 4:54 pm guys really don’t play nice. I’m all for the sexist jokes, from either perspective, but it’s a shame we can’t all just have a sense of humour about it….besides, women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition…just sayin’..

# 76 - smash - 07/12/2011 - 11:01 pm

Hahahahahahaha this was entertaining as hell…. jokes were funny, comments were hilarious…. I’m female btw if that makes any difference.

How do you keep a woman in her place??
Tie her apron strings to the stove.

# 77 - Amy - 15/12/2011 - 10:51 am

To all men reading this…

I found this looking for something good to say to men when they make women in the kitchen jokes and was APPALLED by the awful things you men were saying about us.

If you think about it… Why are you all making comments like this? Is it because your all lazy good for nothing bums who have nothing good to do but think about new ways to make us feel bad just because we’re better than you.

By the way Jeenie good on you for standing up for woman rights. You go girls!!!!!

Ps if it makes any difference to you men out there… The only reason we are in the kitchen is because you men can’t even get your buts of the couch

# 78 - Amy - 15/12/2011 - 8:47 pm

To all you men that are reading this…

I was looking for comebacks at kitchen jokes. This if what cane up. I was APPLALED by the lack of decency of the comments and jokes alike. Jeenie was just doing what she was felt was right and probably felt the the same way I am right now. These jokes where just humiliating towards men.
The only reason we are in the kitchen is because you can’t get you buts off the sofa to make it you self…

Here are some jokes for you:

What to you call a man who makes kitchen jokes?

Why do women live longer than men?
Because there are knives in a kitchen

What do you call a women crossed with a pig?
A man

By the way, Jeenie you rule for standing up for women and their rights.

# 79 - The Man - 16/12/2011 - 11:04 pm

@Libery the truth hurts and is funny in a dark sort of way

women are used to brain wash and sell everything. fuck women (not only in the literal sense). the worlds gone tits up ever since they got male responsibilities and provocative clothes. fuck em all the dirty menstruating sluts that they are. burn these soul selling witches on the stake. bury them alive at infancy

why do women get married in white?
to match the kitchen appliances

what’s the difference between drug dealers and women?
women can wash their crack then give it out

did you hear about the woman who had an apendix operation?
she’s now making money on the side

# 80 - no woman no cry - 16/12/2011 - 11:20 pm

they can’t reason cos they’re women

# 81 - studs are better than sluts - 17/12/2011 - 2:49 pm

@amy the kitchen is the woman’s domain. just cos it’s beneath men to do housework doesn’t mean we’re lazy. we just let you born naturals do it for us.

your comeback is just weak.

how are women better than men?
women are nothing but lip service to their pussies. using sex to get what they want is the lowest
i’d like to see women fight for rights with their weak graceless bodies. men rule for a reason

# 82 - daniel - 18/12/2011 - 2:34 pm

belts off men! jeenie is being disrespectful and needs a lesson!

# 83 - Tim - 19/12/2011 - 10:06 am

Women always complain about how their work is never finished… And they wonder why they get paid less then men

# 84 - Males Rule For A Reason - 19/12/2011 - 4:21 pm


at least you admit women are better suited in kitchens.

what the fuck can youse do to fight for your rights other than naked protests. youse are sub hu man. nothing more than lip service to your vaginas

# 85 - Liberty - 20/12/2011 - 8:43 am

@ The Man – the truth doesn’t hurt at all, son.

The fact is, I’m not at all bothered by these jokes. I quite like the fact you guys have a sense of humour and I do actually find them funny…strangely enough because, even though I’m a woman, I too have a sense of humour.

Plus, these jokes remind me that sometimes you guys are more than just a life support for a cock….now, enough giving you guys a morality boost….get outside and cut my grass then get into the bedroom and use your brain!!

@Males Rule For A Reason – if you’re gonna slag off women for being substantially more useless than men, can you at least back up your point by spelling correctly and using words that are actually part of the English language..last time I checked “youse” didn’t even exist and “hu man” is actually one word “human” or were you trying to be clever and make a male “hu MAN” point there…

Keep the jokes coming guys….I’m such a super-efficient woman I’ve managed to do the housework, do the nursery runs, cook the meals and fuck my partner several times over the past few days while it’s taken you guys that long just to type up some more insults…more entertainmment please!!

# 86 - Hugh Gerection - 21/12/2011 - 5:03 pm

Woman have no rights. Shut the f*ck up.

# 87 - Pussy Ain’t Shit But Lips N Clit - 22/12/2011 - 4:15 pm

@ Liberty

The truth obviously hurt quite a few women here although I bet not as much as their menstrual cramps. A woman with a sense of humour now that is strange.

Faulting typing mistakes? Now that’s weak. Maybe he needs a female secretary

btw “youse” the plural of “you” is in the Scots language. Or are you a pedantic pompous Englishwoman?

Get your bitch ass in the kitchen before I chop your legs off and turn you into a slug ya dirty hell bound fornicator

# 88 - Rape Is A Victimless Crime - 22/12/2011 - 10:06 pm

How many feminists does it take to screw in a light bulb:

One to screw it in,
one to excoriate men for creating the need for illumination,
one to blame men for inventing such a faulty means of illumination,
one to suggest the whole “screwing” bit to be too “rape-like”,
one to deconstruct the lightbulb itself as being phallic,
one to blame men for not changing the bulb,
one to blame men for trying to change the bulb instead of letting a woman do it,
one to blame men for creating a society that discourages women from changing light bulbs,
one to blame men for creating a society where women change too many light bulbs,
one to advocate that lightbulb changers should have wage parity with electricians,
one to alert the media that women are now “out-lightbulbing” men,
one to just sit there taking pictures for her blog for photo-evidence that men are unnecessary

How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one. She holds it still and waits for the world to revolve around her!

# 89 - johnjo - 22/12/2011 - 10:43 pm

Man says to God, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?”
God says, “So you would love her.”
“But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?”
God replies, “So she would love you.”

how do you chat up a woman while still making it perfectly clear
that you are fine being alone and are certainly not buying into the idea that women are worthless
without a significant other?

# 90 - DEATH TO FEMINISTS - 22/12/2011 - 11:15 pm

You women are gonna spell the end of the human race. You women are the reason why western populations are shrinking. You women belong in the house raising kids. F*cking career women have nervous breakdowns and start crying in their mid 30s and realize that all along they were meant for raising babies. That’s why you wanted to play with fucking baby dolls and houses in you childhood.

If a motorcyclist hits a woman, who is to blame?

The motorcyclist. He shouldn’t have been riding in the kitchen

PS The dress doesn’t make you women look fat, its all that ice-cream and chocolate you eat that makes you look fat

# 91 - MEN ARE PIGS - 28/12/2011 - 4:41 am

mhmm some men have no lives let me tell you something if us stupid menstruating whores were not around you wouldn’t be here :)

# 92 - Change Your Tampon - 28/12/2011 - 11:35 pm

man came first. woman was created from his rib to serve him. woman cannot survive without man. woman should be grateful to man and keep the house clean for him

how can you tell if a man is a male chauvinistic pig?
he thinks “harass” is two words

why were shopping carts invented?
to teach women to walk on their hind legs

if the dove is the bird of peace then what is the bird of true love?
the swallow

have you hear of the new blonde paint?
it’s not very bright but it’s cheap & spreads easily

if a tree falls on a woman in a forest & no one hears it does she make a sound?
a better question is why is there a kitchen in a forest?

# 93 - justsayingggg - 30/12/2011 - 2:05 pm

so first off, Im a woman. I find these jokes hilarious but the comments are a little much. I dont mind sexist jokes because I know that I work my butt off and do what I am good at without any help from a man. Also, I am 6′3 and am obviously taller than a lot of men. Men being bigger than women doesnt mean anything. If you want to use that as another excuse to make you feel better and add one to the list for men, I guess that works? Either way, I am friends with a ton of guys and my best friends are guys, I can hang with the guys and joke about being in the kitchen. As much as I believe it isnt true, sometimes you just have to role with the punches and laugh. When the time comes, men will realize that the only reason that they are where they are today is because women have helped them get there.

# 94 - Amy - 31/12/2011 - 8:31 pm

hey guess what… I happen to be very good at cooking and very good at Machanics too… I have fix my dad’s car and taken apart a motorcycle not to mention put it back to gether again and have it working better that before… Bet most of you “boy’s” out there can’t even work out how a motorcycle works

# 95 - Amy - 04/01/2012 - 8:11 pm

@Pussy Ain’t Shit But Lips N Clit

God Obvuously did a paractice on men before making masterpiece. Just as a comeback but are christan? If you are you Should be ashamed.…

# 96 - Women have rights? - 05/01/2012 - 11:01 pm

Did the grill laugh when you told it that one?

# 97 - Women spelled backwards is kitchen - 09/01/2012 - 6:03 am

Haha oh Jesus, this is comedy right here xD

# 98 - LOL! - 10/01/2012 - 1:44 pm

These are f*cking great, and for all that are going on about the debate of rights, Honestly now what would you rather do in life?

be successful and have a career?
while trying to balance out life.
Or have a man that’s a STUD making bank so that you can live comfortably, without even working.

LOL, and the thing is, these jokes aren’t about defamation or degridation… Ok.

Woman’s perspective,
Aww, that jokes f*cked up..
*I’m gonna show him whats up and prove I can do more*

Mans perspective
Lol, This is really pushing her buttions.
*But really its going to be beneficial anyways.*

IF you can’t take jokes, Then get the fuck out of a JOKE page.

# 99 - Mr Justice just gave up - 10/01/2012 - 7:37 pm

bahahahaha go on guys xD this is the funniest shit i came across in months :’D

# 100 - Amy - 12/01/2012 - 8:13 am


Good on you girl and keep up the good work

# 101 - The amazing racist - 13/01/2012 - 7:59 pm

Better joke racial equality

# 102 - mckenzieallen - 14/01/2012 - 2:16 am

jeenie, youre the reason men make up sexist jokes.
nagging, b*tching, worthless, etc. see the chain here? im a woman and i laughed my *ss off and told my man these jokes even.

# 103 - BarbieDoll - 14/01/2012 - 7:44 pm

I have to agree with the guys. Ladies…these are funny.
I am a college student, have owned my own business but I prefer to stay home and take care of my disabled vet husband. He works his *ss off BUT comes home to a clean house, clothes press for work the next day, a hot delicious meal and his favorite chair so he can play Xbox. It’s not about dignity or respect or knowing your place. Your man keeps you safe, he is your protector…the least you can do it let him relax and stay off his ass. Besides…when you call these offensive, I’m sure your laughing your *ss off when you read the jokes about men?
Equality is equality…if we can joke about men, why can’t they joke about women?
Suggestion: Learn how to cook, don’t get fat after you get married, pleasure him often…and not just a dead lay but REALLY pleasure him and keep your mouth shut. I promise, he will appreciate you much more..if you just take your place beside him. Just sayin

# 104 - Barbiedollposer - 16/01/2012 - 7:04 pm

Lol your obviously a guy as well
“but REALLY pleasure him and keep your mouth shut”. Just sayin, definitely the words of a fellow male. Correct words at that.

# 105 - Frailty Thy Name Is Woman - 17/01/2012 - 5:13 pm

@Amy your persistence in your blind stupidity is indicative of a femme-tard. So your disassembling then reassembling of a motor bike is your claim to female superiority? Have some f**king sense of humility.

Look around. The world was built exclusively by men. The only female contribution to human knowledge has been Marie Curie’s radioactive cancers/harmful mutilations. Yes women may have helped by a small extent towards male genius but this hardly warrants a share or contribution.

Women are set to be phased out by genetic copies leaving out the “double faced superficial dumb sly bitch” element. Can’t wait

# 106 - BarbieDoll - 18/01/2012 - 12:34 am

Nope. Name is Jessica. Live in Colorado. Have two kids of my own and just found a man worth some salt. I will even verify my identity if need be. I’m just saying….women have no right to complain…let guys have their jokes…we have ours. Keep in mind…no matter how many jokes there are…men still want us. Dumbasses

# 107 - tiffany - 19/01/2012 - 3:42 pm

Why cant Helan keller drive a car?
Because shes a woman.

# 108 - women deserve labour pain - 25/01/2012 - 6:01 am

barbie anti men jokes are not of the same calibre. men only want women for the sex/looks (looks that last about 15 years and no make up/plastic surgery can cover this up).

what gets me is how such a talent deficient group of people (women) have such high expectations, standards and judgements of men when they can do fuck all by themselves. furthermore women are blind to their own stupidity and purport to be smarter.

just remember slyness/shrewdness is not the same as intelligence.

# 109 - equal in one world - 28/01/2012 - 4:00 am

im not sexist. ive met a million sexist girls, but we as guys shouldn’t stand for them complaining about men being sexist jerks, they make them more then we do.

# 110 - Elmer_J_Fuddmonger - 28/01/2012 - 7:08 pm

Man says woman “Wanna play at rape?”
“No!” yells woman
“That’s the spirit!” says man

PS don’t blame soap operas and gay sitcoms for f*cking your heads up. it’s genetic

# 111 - Unholy - 29/01/2012 - 1:46 am

I love how women bitch about equal rights but can get out of work, speeding tickets, paying full price, and many other things for shacking their tits.

a woman can hit a man but a man better not hit back cuz thats abuse…….. a woman can join the army but doesnt have to meet the same physical requirements as a man because they cant because there women and the men have to go to battle with them and hope and prey that the frail mouth piece of a bitch can carry him if he gets injure or shot.

a married man and woman split up and the woman gets the kids and half of everything because she is a woman and you know what we get……. visitation and larg payments and alamony because the stupid bitch was to incompetent to hold a real job.

women can bitch and whine about rights and shivalry all they want but women are f*cking double standard leeches and are good for nothing but F*cking, Cooking, and Cleaning!!!

# 112 - slayedsausage - 29/01/2012 - 4:02 am

Anyone else notice that the jeenie argument spanned close to a year? xD

# 113 - Zoe - 29/01/2012 - 10:35 pm

Sexist pigs! That why none of you have girlfriends!

# 114 - Slap_Happy - 31/01/2012 - 3:05 am

The only B word your should call a girl is beautiful.

Bitches love to be called beautiful.

# 115 - eltrut - 01/02/2012 - 3:53 pm

I stopped reading half way down…wait…I just started reading more of the comments………..

OK…seriously…women come to sites like THIS with THESE kinds of jokes and then piss and moan in the comment section? They are called JOKES! And these guys ripping on you have every right to. You know why? Because you are frickin’ morons.

# 116 - Woman! Desist from pestering - 05/02/2012 - 6:08 pm

cool chicks don’t let this sh*t get to them cos it doesn’t apply. it only bothers those faulty women with a guilty conscience

# 117 - Suck It - 07/02/2012 - 12:29 am

Guys I know a few women that would kick your butts so hard that you would go home crying to your mom if they heard you say these “jokes”

# 118 - A human - 10/02/2012 - 1:17 am

I think your both wrong actually women and men are equal weather you like It or not. Quean Elizabeth was a great leader while Quean Victoria killed so many. Abraham Lincoln was a great leader while Hitler killed many. It’s not the sex you are it’s the person you are. Many will say I’m wrong and I don’t care it’s your opinion and your entitled to it and I respect that. Just instead of looking at a person by the sex they are or even the color of there skin, look at them as a human because you are too.

# 119 - vaginas like gunshot wounds - 11/02/2012 - 7:17 pm

Women can’t control their emotions and end up enslaved to them. As the best male martial artists say -Don’t beat them with feeling. U gotta be clinical about it.

What do the sluts say after ending their prostitution deals?
It’s a business doing pleasure with you!

# 120 - Vagisil Max - 18/02/2012 - 8:42 pm

my fellow male brethren no amount of sense can be talked or smacked into those female abominations. well this is how you beat them at their own game. If you let them believe they’re winning you can do what ever you want.

# 121 - Woman! U can’t drive - 19/02/2012 - 1:54 pm

A blind man walks past the fishmonger. he stops and says “good morning ladies”.

# 122 - Mez the don lad - 20/02/2012 - 7:55 pm

Haha, comments are hilarious, and why the hell are women commenting on this site?? Get back in the kitchen!!

# 123 - TheManWithNoPlan - 22/02/2012 - 9:16 am

Ha… You all cry and bitch about things that don’t matter. I’m sorry to all the women of the world (excluding my 3rd ex girl friend lol) for what I’m about to type. Prepare for I am about to unload a dangerous level of cold hard facts on all your candy a$$es! Women and men are equal, but the world wants you to believe differently. The world wants you to think men or the superior gender but deep down and I’m talking real deep down, we all know that’s crap. I’ll be honest sexist jokes are funny ass fu(k, but don’t let the world turn us against each other. Some day men and women will rise up! And tear down all this PROPAGANDA!
But I’ll end on a happy note: Two guys walk up to each other the first guys says “hey smell my fingers” the second guy smells his fingers and says “whoa! Did you get the right hole?” so the first guy replies “what do you mean? That was the only hole he had!” haha not sexist but made me laugh. So remember what I taught you: smoking weed isn’t a crime if you put clear eyes on…sh!t who am I kidding I don’t wear clear eyes!

# 124 - Striker - 24/02/2012 - 7:48 am

Men are 7 times more likely to get struck by lightning than women only cause it’s 7 times less likely for a storm to be inside of a kitchen

# 125 - Flik - 26/02/2012 - 8:29 am

What do you call a women who can’t cook?

-A Maid

# 126 - get back in the kitchen - 29/02/2012 - 4:48 pm

i need to tell these jokes in the classroom tomorrow :D

# 127 - Arsenal2212 - 08/03/2012 - 1:20 pm

 that is so true! like u said women have there jokes about us so how they can complain is beyond me, also true why do we keep coming back :P

# 128 - ji berflap - 10/03/2012 - 4:35 pm


# 129 - Moshcloud - 17/03/2012 - 8:11 pm

what do you call a women with one black eye?

a quick learner

# 130 - Moshcloud - 17/03/2012 - 8:13 pm

if the stove brakes and no ones around to hear it does it make a sound?

your wife will always be there!

# 131 - Moshcloud - 17/03/2012 - 8:20 pm

why are girls rubish at video games?

their too busy reading the instructions

# 132 - This Is A Man’s World - 21/03/2012 - 12:36 am

women can’t handle power. women have to be dominated and live under men. the opposite isn’t right. there’s no other way

# 133 - women r nice but funny - 21/03/2012 - 4:04 am

fag you could get in the kitchen too

# 134 - Bgos - 22/03/2012 - 8:10 am

ok can someone please (pretty please) come up with a joke about women that is actually funny & has nothing to do with the kitchen? (those are getting really old…)
i’ve heard 1 joke about women that was actually funny…but i can’t for the life of me remember what it was! does anyone have one that’s clever & actually funny? 

# 135 - narcissistic psycho bitch - 27/03/2012 - 6:03 am

women and kitchens will always be synonymous. it’s the only place where they’ve talent, dignity and grace and can’t whore out their bodies or souls. 

develop some literacy & get a sense of humour (unless you’re an american) 

# 136 - NarcissisticPsychoBitch - 28/03/2012 - 6:42 pm

What is women’s favorite drink? Whine

# 137 - delfina navarro - 28/11/2012 - 6:19 am

Me da tanta risa la ideologia que tienen los hombres acerca de las mujeres que hasta me da vergüenza ajena que piensen de esa manera tan tonta.

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